The Night I Walked The Halls Of The Venetian

Five years ago we  drove out to Las Vegas for a vacation..... Actually it was to gamble...... Someone in the family likes to do this...... The other one is sane but this one has a wild streak.... We probably have taken this trip 10 times in our marriage.....Now we will not talk about Atlantic City which is closer.....That would be 20 to 25 times..... Come to think about it, when you drive by the Taj Mahal, look at the upper right hand bank of windows.....It was my loses that helped Donald put them up..... I love driving through the Rocky Mountains and looking at the majestic beauty of the mountains....... But sadly even they  have changed....  The Colorado River no longer flows with wild water..... Large expensive homes are being built for many miles on the way out of Denver and life moves at such a fast pace that I dare not blink an eye for something else will be added..... One year we  stayed overnight in Vail which is high in the mountains..... This was to be our only time doing this.....If you want to throw money away, stay at Vail.... A hamburger at one of their nicer restaurants, cost $20 (That was then)....Add some french fries and a drink and you will have parted with close to $70 and this is without the tip.... Yet, for what it was worth, we did stay one night at Vail...Should have gone on to Aspen and probably would have had to sell the car to pay for a meal.....This was to be an expensive night there. Like many other people,  I have been blessed with high blood pressure.....This ran on both sides of  my family so the elevation soon took a toll on my breathing..... That was a costly lesson so we ended up staying at two places that night.....One a Marriott at Vail and then on to a Hilton down in Grand Junction, Colorado.....This was at a lower elevation and I was OK...I just could not breathe at that high elevation....On this trip we again planned our stay at the Venetian.....This casino is so special to me as I love the romantic atmosphere of it from the moment you walk through the doors....Just walking through the halls and looking up at the magnificent paintings on the ceiling is worth staying there....It is such a wonderful experience and I will admit that I am such a romantic at heart....I am probably the only woman who has a love song playing in her heart every minute of the day.....

It was so hot traveling that year..... When we arrived in Mesquite the sun was beating down and it was 117 degrees outside... It was so terribly hot that I just about passed out when I got out of the car at the service station where we got gas..... When we arrived in Las Vegas, I asked the person at the  desk if they could upgrade our room.... This people should check when they arrive in Las Vegas..... They will do this free of charge if there is another better room and especially if you have been there before.... They had one and it was  the second floor from the top all free of charge... We were booked there for five days...... The first two days we went downtown and out to Hoover Dam..... That was so sad seeing what has happened since we had been up there about 15 years prior..... Then on the way back stopped at  Sam's Casino.....  I should have just driven by and thrown $300 out the window as I lost it that fast.....While in there we found the eating area and sat down and ordered a chili dog..... The food sucked and the place was worse..... We were booked into the Bellagio for dinner and did not want to eat much...... I didn't feel good after that suspect hot dog so instead canceled dinner reservations and just wanted to take it easy....  We were tired from the heat and decided to just fill up the car with gas....We were heading back home in two days and truthfully we just wanted to get out of the heat....  It was just about too hot to do anything around there and eating heavy was not part of what I wanted.....

When we left Sam's  we looked around for a gas station, filled her up and then back  to the Venetian....We then showered and decided to go our separate way to gamble downstairs....This was after he played "hump the hostess" with me...Lord, I love that man.....This way, if my husband  wanted to go on the Strip, he could go as we each have our own cell phones for communication..... This was around 8 P.M......We had both decided that this was going to be a night where and when  you eat when you want to and if you need me call me......I loved these nights...Actually I am in hog heaven....Someday I will write  about what I did at Atlantic City....But now back to the Venetian....Nobody can imagine how happy I was.  I am all alone.....Two charge cards in my money pouch that I can use for ready cash and he is not even with me in the same hotel.....I felt like that kid in "Home Alone"....All I had to do was go to those  ATM machine to punch in the number and get the money out.....Believe me, I can be dangerous.....     

I began my gambling on the $1 machines...... It was some kind of a progressive win jackpot...... One of the worst ones to play but with me the next pull was always going to be the big one....... When I left it I had lost a bit....... A bit to me probably meant about $400..  (Remember these were my old days.)....You see I was born with the uncanny ability to  talk myself into thinking that I would win it all back on the next pull of the machine.....  If we ever go gambling now, which we so seldom do, I take along $100 to $150......  With the house and the puppies that is what the budget allows and this is very infrequent.....Like maybe every six months..... I proceeded to lose more in the next three hours....Actually quite a bit more....Found those ATM machines in a hurry..... Then I hit a lucky run on a nine time pay $1 machine...... It was like winner time...... I could do no wrong.....I walked away with about $1800...... This was great as it probably put me ahead by $100.....Then you had better believe that I was happy....As you can see,  I am not a good gambler and Las Vegas  it is not a good place for me..... I am far too compulsive and stay away from it for this reason...... Truthfully, I am not proud of this and  I would say that during the course of my gambling in the last twenty years, I have lost two new cars...... I have since found that gambling covers up a deep hurt from a deeper problem.....This was my case......Only when I could accept that I can't change, what I can't change, could I grow into the woman that I am today...... Only when I could get past this, could I be cured....... I stay away from it as it could be and is a problem...... I do not fool myself......Yet sitting here as I write this, I truthfully do not think that this could ever bother me again.....I have shaken or shook hands, whichever is right, with the devil and risen to a place in my life where I stand tall...I am proud of what I have tried to do and even though I still worry about the consequence of being discovered, I still try and let women know how wonderful their life and sexuality can be as they age...... Sometimes I truly wonder where I came from, as I have never tried to help anyone before in my life........ Gosh, that is a heavy statement, but I am going to leave it in here......I guess it is who I am......

I guess it was at this casino and at this place in my life when I realized that there is only so much you can gamble...... You just get sick of it..... When I was finally done, which I was when I had won the big money back, I decided not to go up to the room....... After losing that much and recovering it I figured it was time for me to get my gambling life together and make this my last trip to Las Vegas........ This was a big decision for me and a lot of soul searching...... I knew my husband did this only for me....... This is the way he is........ Anything for me...... Far more than I deserve but he loves me as I love him......All of the sudden I realized I was hungry....I hadn't eaten since that afternoon, so I headed over to St. Mark's Square....There a waiter set me up with a lovely table overlooking the square for a $10 tip......It is at this place in my life where I sat for two hours watching the people go by and reflecting on my life.......I was missing my lover who had called that he was heading to bed, but just enjoying this special time and silently giving thanks as I reflected on my life and all that I have......I ordered a salad and some grilled meats....It was so delicious with the fresh bread and olive oil.....Cold beer was my beverage.....There I sat and watched my life go by....Watching people pass me with strange languages....Felt a different woman emerging from my own shadow....There I sat and watched the children....Up at this late hour of night and I enjoyed this conversation that I had with strangers....I always wondered why little children liked me...For some reason they like to talk to me...I would say that this night I speak about was one  of the most wonderful times of my life......... I will remember this night as long as I live......You see, I knew I would never be back there in my lifetime..... This was it....

As I walked the halls, it became an adventure...... Artists and musicians coming and going all night long.......  All these beautifully clothed people running.to perform on the stages in St. Mark's Square.... This excitement and happiness is all around you.......For some reason I just wanted to be a part of it......I wanted to memorize all the smells and the scene of happiness... I often looked at the ceiling and the beautiful works of art....All of these things made my night magic...... I spent so much time just trying to take this all in and memorize it.....In my heart I knew that I would need these memories to bring forward and smile as I again think of them as I am doing now...........

Twice I walked the halls and followed the gondolas.....  I listened to the gondolier's sing their songs and watched newlyweds hugging each other in the boats....... I sat at the end watching people as they arrived and as they departed....Then I went back to St. Mark's Square.....I watched the people on the stage singing......  I admired the beautiful sites of the buildings and the wonderful creation that had been made....... I  took in all of that wonderful night and held it close........ There it remains.....And there it will die with me..... I looked at all that was around me, as I knew what I was going to do.... I was going to go upstairs and tell my lover I wanted to go home..... I had just had the most perfect night of my life in Las Vegas.....The hotel had worked it's charm on me....Now I wanted to leave and go home....Nothing would ever be able to equal what I had experienced so....Take me home my love. Take me home...

Krispie Creme was just closing as I walked the halls back to our elevator...... It was about 4 A.M...... I stopped and picked up some doughnut and took the elevator back up to our lovely suite...... There I sat in a darkened room looking out the large window before me at this city of many dreams......  I saw the people below and the Mirage across the street.....I could see an airplane coming in with people coming to visit the City that never sleeps..... As I watched I could see my life pass before me...... I knew that I would never see this nor walk this way again....... I never went to bed....I woke my husband at 6 and we were out of there by 8...... We got charged for an early departure, but who cares.....I wanted the memories of that night as it was...... Nothing changed..... Just the sweetness of the Venetian at it's finest and my heart so full of the night I had just lived........

That night is still such a precious memory to me...........I can still hear the gondolier's singing and people laughing............And if I close my eyes I can see the Courtyard of St. Mark's Square........And my heart is still young..............Let it stay that way........Peace to all, Caroline...