Four years ago, I never knew the word Tantra... If you would have asked me what it meant, I just may have said it was a color...I guess this shows how sexually backward that I was at this time in my life...But I changed, boy have I changed...Now if you would ask me what Tantra is, I would say that it is the most erotic and sensual love making there is....Saying and reading these words that I have just written, is another shock to me...You see, four years ago I never knew sex as I do now...I was but a shell of a woman...Now I am wild as the wind...

It is funny speaking of this exercise in sexuality, as I never learned it nor knew of it...I just found that I was it...Oh, every once in a while we will leave this place of soft and more gentle sex and venture into some wilder and more daring acts of love...Yet it is the slow sexual touching and bringing our bodies to the pleasures of passion that just plain drives me wild....And may I add, when I am driven wild, so is he...I am sexually unleashed....I believe a woman holds the keys to the kingdom of her sexual pleasure...This is the secret of happiness in a woman....Her eyes glow with the passion she feels......She is able to go within her soul as she releases every binding that holds her...This new freedom allows all the heated woman within her, to give of herself and find this place in time...With this ability, she is able to bring her lover along for the ride that she has created....Her lover glories in this new woman in want, that he is seeing....For she truly is free and has touched her soul...She has released her orgasm for her lover to see and bind them with a love that escapes eternity...It is a closeness that can leave them both in tears....

When I first became this person that I am, I had no idea of what was happening to me...I was different...I felt different...I could not write enough about our hot sexual love that was overwhelming me...Nor could I get enough sex...It was as if I was awakening from a deep sleep and found all the missing links in life...I now knew of man and woman and all the sexual joys that they could ever have...All of the sudden, every dot fit in the right place...Sex was no longer a question in my mind...The answers were now in front of me....What I had known and done prior to this, did not touch the tip of what I now knew....At the time that this happened, I had started posting at a Forum...I was so full of love and these new feeling of sexual joy that I couldn't contain myself...I had to speak of what I now knew...It was like a new light bulb had been lit inside me...The words of love poured out of mind...They had to be written down.....I recall I had to watch everything I was writing there...Come to think about it, I believe I set a record for posts being moderated...I didn't know any better...I was writing about a woman in love... I was so overwhelmed with this new passion and hot love that I felt, that I had to write of it...This is what Tantra does to you or at least it has done to me...With this new me many things about me changed, but that is another story and really not for this post...I recall a woman from that site wrote me and told me that she thought I was Tantra.....She said that I was lucky...She said that I had become like a Sex Goddess....She told me to get a book....It was by Margo Anand...She said to read it...If you were to ask me now after paging through the book, and now  knowing what I know about myself, I would say that she was right...Scary, but true...However, at the time I looked at it, I never read it...I looked at the pictures and read what I thought was interesting, which was not much...I am just not into this kind of thing...I guess I am more down and dirty sex....This woman who wrote me has since written a book and is very wise in sexual knowledge....You see, I did not know who I was...I had changed so fast and so much and all my years disappeared....Where they have gone, I have no idea, but I know that I am the happiest woman in the world...I am able to make a man hunger for my love as I crave his....We both are Tantra....As I changed, he changed....Without even knowing it, sex took on a new dimension in our life....

I have paged through the book on Tantra, but nothing about it is who we are......We do not chant....We are not yoga.......We do not burn candles......Nor do we wear special robes.....Heck, we are normal people who love life, enjoy our family, raise our twin puppies....and mess around a lot....Believe me, life is good....

What happened to me with this new awakening, was a new me....A softer and kinder woman....One who sees things that she never saw before in her life....My mind never stops....It is like I am writing a story of life every minute of the day....Lest I forget something...When I go to our place of love making, I look at him as my beloved...I want to pleasure him first as he would want to do the same thing to me....This has brought on a new sensual awareness in who we are....Yes, we do look into each other's eye, but it is in deep sexual mating when our eyes tell the story of a meeting of our mind's....They speak knowingly of the orgasm that is going to take place...Knowing me, there are always some erotic words of love mixed in with our conversation...I will raise my body and move to join him without saying a word....I find that sexually hungry spot within to let this special part of me open.... I welcome him and join my beloved in this place called heaven....I feel this in my soul as I give him all that I am as a woman...He returns the favor to me with the lust of an animal in heat....Our sex life is perfection......His pleasure's are my pleasures, and my pleasure is his ....We are truly joined at the rib....

Being this way, I have lost this part of me that knew shame...I believe every woman is born with this....By casting this off, it enables me to open up to my husband from the inside out....The word embarrassment does not exist in our sexual world.....We know only pleasure....When we make love we live in a place of lust and happiness...Later we lay in each other's arms and search each other's soul....We are one....

This is the new me that I have known for four years....She had a hard time fighting her way out of her yesterday's....Her main problems is that she fears youth...They do not understand age and she has no age....Now that I can get past people, I can accept me for who I am and try to help women...I guess this is my true purpose in life...I like it this way....Guess, this is who I am...

Caroline

P.S..As far as the "Sex Goddess" thing...This is who each one of us women are....We just have to find it....