How Strong Are These Sexual Urges As We Age?.....I Think Far Bigger Than Have Been Ever Reported....

In the last week I have acquired yet more knowledge in life...It wasn't something that I planned on, but something that I found...It isn't anything that I will speak about, but something that will prey on my soul....As wise as I thought I was about life, I am still wiser now...

I have found in the last five years that I have reached a height of passion that is off the scales as far as sexual satisfaction...I don't know why or how I found it...However, I do know that it was a part of me that lived within me and I was afraid to let go...I believe that who I am as a woman is part of all women...The one necessary ingredient that can't be missing is simple...Being madly in love with your man...You see I feel the same sexual hunger for him that I did in that parked car...When he fondles me I can feel his hand in the front seat of that parked car....Slowly going up my skirt and past my garter belt...Pushing my panties aside and discovering for the first time my hot wet juicy pu*sy...I will never forget as long as I live how I gasped from the thrill of his fingers...These are the things that make me whole...I was a virgin and that day I learned that I was hotter than hell....And believe me I have never forgotten it...

In the last four plus years and since I have ejaculated, I have come alive...Whatever I was then was a shadow of who I am now...Sexually I am able to have sex anytime he wants me...I love it...This is so important to a woman, but then she has to know what she wants sexually and tell her lover...I do and he loves it...I could throw out some top names in the world of entertainment...Women who are crying out for what I have found...These are women in heat...They need sexual filling...That alone is the reason that these women must come out with the f**k word or be bold with the cu*t word...The last was thanks to Jane Fonda...I believe that so many of us are like this that it is a joke...Yet for some reason we smother ourselves and do not live.... 

Just about four years ago I wrote a blog...In it I think I discovered the woman within the woman that lurked inside me...The surprise of life...The wonderment of where I had been all these years...This blog is all women, but I was just shy of 69 years old.....It is an old blog and really not edited....Maybe it's the story of all of us women....Only I let it all hang out....

This is a story of the last 19 months of my life. This is approximately when I started to erupt as a woman. Before this I have a feeling I was coming on slow but this time I can relate to. That was my Orlando "Holy Cow" time. I think part of me was changing for some time, but the real me had not truly shown her face. I have been reading Gail Sheehy's book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman and found it so interesting. But mine was a story of me. A story of a woman madly in love with a man for so many years, but really not able to throw her shackles away, and be the free hot woman that she wanted to be. Many times in life I have had a brief adventure in my high sexuality but I would get scared. Then once again I would disappear behind the curtain of shame. The shame of enjoying the wonderful sexual thrill that we had known. The animal like sexual things that we had done. I was so aroused by these things but so confused. So I would again leave it behind and go back to my safe home turf. I was to find out that this was a very heavy curtain that just did not want to roll back easy. Sometimes I would try, but the inner me would say, you cannot do those sexual things, and like a fool I would not. It is funny on how after a few drinks it was easier. Much easier. But just a few. We did not drink much.

The change in me has been so overwhelming that I cannot explain it. I have no shame. I have nothing holding me back from walking in front of him naked anymore. I watched this coming over me. Not knowing what change was happening in me but feeling something about me that had not been there before. An awakening. Part of the old me being reborn. At times it scared the devil out of me. I felt like I was over sexed, but I loved the feeling. The wonderful feeling between my legs as I would get juicy thinking of him and what he could do to me and what I would do to him. I lived with these sexual thoughts and loved them. And with them came the urge to lose weight. This I did because without losing it I would not be able to attack him and show myself as I wanted to. And I feel this way to this minute. It drives me to stay attractive and sexual. It is the new inner me. I wanted to be able to show him every little place and intimate part of me as a woman. Flaunt it at him. Look at me baby. This is yours. Study me. Use a flashlight. Feel me. Pinch me. Prod me. Finger me. Screw the hell out of me. Here or anywhere. I want it. I need it. More than you will ever know. And I do. It still has not stopped. I do not want it to stop. I will not let it stop. I have waited too long for it to begin and I have no intention of putting the brakes on now or never.

So the me that I was started to develop was turning into the person that I am now. Discovering all the things that are sexual in the world. Things I never knew. The Internet. Porn. Wonderful vibrator's. Books, all those sexual books about love and making love. The world of information on Boards of a person's sexuality. People that would talk about orgasm and arousal. People that would talk about a big penis and what to do with it. Women talking about a tight hot vagina. Things that shocked me and aroused me. The arousal that I was not that used to. The talking of things that I knew about myself that were being brought out in the open. How women got their nipples pulled and pinched. How they told their man to do it. How bending over and getting oral sex from a man was so erotic. How erotic it was to shave my vulva and so many more. With all this wonderful information I did the next best things. I exposed myself to my man. Nothing that he would not see but I became the hottest sexual woman he ever knew. I became the hot erotic and sensual side of me that was kept hidden. No more would she hide, she was now real and going to do her thing.. She was out to stay. I welcomed her. No more shame baby, you have come home. And I gloried in the new me but not as much as he desired the new woman I was. He could not get enough of me. And I finally was to him all the woman that year's ago I hinted I would be. All that he deserved. And I am now. I know I am as good as it gets. He has made me who I am. Oh, how we make love.

And my man. He did not have a chance. I freely loved his penis. I played with him and adored it. I found out all the ways of doing oral sex that drove him wild. I began to love sucking him. Found out that I was really good at it. This gave me confidence in myself. With this came a new come on baby, I want to eat you. The new me that was not afraid to say anything. And I did. I learned to lick him along the shaft and play with him. He loved it and marveled at my new skills. I became bold and held my new play toy in the air as I sucked him and talked to him at what I was doing. Measured him. Licked him clean. Loved it. Found out how much he adored being licked around the coronal ridge that surrounds the head. Found out the underside drove him wild. Lick his shaft and he would moan. Put the whole big love stick in my mouth and roll it up and down my mouth until he moans. Know what a blow job is. Dam, sometimes I think I would be a good whore. But then they don't like sex. I do. I love to take his balls and put them in my mouth and freely playing with his anus but not entering as he has had the surgery. Just playing with my wonderful new toy. This big pulsating member that for so many years I had neglected. This is being taken care of now and a day does not go by that he is not sucked. I wonder if I am sick saying this, but that is how I am sexually. A woman so in love with her man that his wonderful parts bring me more pleasure than I have ever known in my life. These are things I was hesitating to do before now. Now I was set free. Why, I will never know.

This morning he spread my lips and sucked and licked me. He teases me. My lips after three children are still tucked.. And he plays with them. Being shaved he takes his two fingers and holds them together while he kisses the whole shaved tunnel of love. Oh how I love it when he teases me like this. Keeping this love door closed while I moan for opening and pleasuring. Pleading my clit is on fire and begging him to find my G-spot. I need licking and sucking and am so sexually hungry. I always orgasm the minute he opens me up. I am like a wild woman with sexual want. I need it so bad that I spread as far as I can. This is the woman that I now am. I would never have begged like this two years ago. I would never have laid on the bed spread for him to look at me while he tells me how wonderful I am and what he is going to do to me. I would never have leaned over him and taken that big hard erection he offers me and suck it and lick it until I am at the point of orgasm and he is too. But I love it, how can I stop something I love.. This is now the person I am. And I believe many women would like to be this too. This is who we all are. Either that or I am a complete sex fiend.

Only confessing that this sexually uninhibited female that writes this site is the happiest sexual woman in the world will I be able to impress women that it is there for us. When I was younger I used to think something like this was dirty. I can't believe I thought this. Now I know that what we are is a sexual song. An act of love that is going to be performed over and over and over. Each and every time there will have a different ending as no two orgasms and endings are the same. Each time we swear that this was better than the last and we truly think it was.

I am sexually so alive for him every minute of the day. I look at him and despite our age, he is young. I see it in his eyes. And what we are and who we are is perfection in sexual love. Being like we are is good..................love is wonderful......................and I am so happy, I found my way home........

Now I look at that post I wrote and find that I am embarrassed...I feel shame...Yet I wrote it in marital bliss....In fact I can tell you that I just about took it off....Now I question, does that mean that we women think that being this sexual is dirty or have we somewhere along the line lost the true meaning of sexual satisfaction?...I am bold in my writing...Unless I was women do not learn what they should know to make a man a man and a woman a woman...I rule my Garden of Eden, yet I do this with being able to transfer over to my husband the power of being the leader of the pack...This is important in a relationship....Now as I write this I realize what a baby I was when I wrote that blog...Since that time my mind has grown...At that time it was important to me to tell the tale of what he did to me, now it is important that I speak of life...All the things I spoke about we do...Only now it's better...God help me, it's better...Take care, Caroline