A Friend Of Mine Married At 48...They Were Not Sexually Compatible, But She Thought She Could Change Him...This Is Her Story....

I have a very good woman friend who I met through the Internet...She is having some very serious sexual problems...She goes back to when I was just finding myself as a woman...It has been near three years and we are very close friends...She is good people and I love her like a sister....Feeling this way my heart goes out to her for the pain that she is going through...Seeing she has only been married for two years, this should be a wonderful and happy time in her life...But, she is struggling...Being as close to her as I am, I find that I walk the same walk through life with her...I hurt when she hurts...We are close...Even though we have near 20 years difference in our age, sexually, we are the same....We are both women and joined by this wonderful phase called the "wonder of sexual happiness".....Now I just made that up but I won't tell anyone if you won't....

I met my friend back when I was posting at ivillage...Now that is really reaching back...That was before this site even began....She is so special and we have shared many fears and loves...Both laughed and cried....She knows me and I know her....Knowing her as I did, I was so afraid that there would be some problems with this marriage.....I tried my best to caution her....Honey, wait....There is no hurry...Live together....But how do you quiet a heart that burns with love...Then to make it worse, this must be sealed with a piece of paper....Their's is indeed love, but the only problem with true love is a man feels so very different than a woman does....We think with our heart and sexual happiness and a man thinks like a man...That being, because many of them are on that downward spiral in life, sex is sex.....Nothing big or nothing special...Just plain sex......It is a self-inflicted cancer of it's own...I know....My husband used to have it.....BUT, I cured him....

I had actually met her through a board dealing with the impotence of men....This is a big problem with men...Bigger than people want to talk about.....Sometimes even Viagra does not do it and many men do not want to take this pill.....If they fight it, it will not work and often this can happen with a man....Believe me from what I have heard, many times this is not all the hype it is written up to be...She was 49 and he was 50....Now as I speak, she is 51 and he is 52....When she wrote me the other day I feared what I was to read....And it was there...I knew that she was coming into some hot sexual awakening as a woman as she had told me this...This started around age 46...She had been through a divorce and was willing and able to be all that she could be as a woman....No more holding her back....She loved everything about sex and he did too.....That is at first....Then they started to have problems...She needed it more than he could give it to her....They quarreled about this and he said he would try.....They got married anyway....It was a mistake....He did not change or get better, it got worse...

She would write me before she got married and I would warn her that this possibly could happen....I could see the explosion of the new woman that she was becoming....Women get like this and it is wonderful...She was very attractive and he was a good looking man...One thing she did tell me that worried me was that he loved to eat and fought his weight...I have seen pictures of him and he did love to eat...He was not fat but he had more pounds than he should have...Come to think of it, he was kind of fat...I am just being polite.....Marriage did not help this...The more he ate the less sexual he became...This is always true of sex......At least from my experience with men and what women have written me....When she wrote me last week she told me of her sexual hunger....This woman that needed sex as much as she needed food, was hurting.....He was content just doing what he was doing and that was not much...The marriage was in deep trouble...In the last 6 months she has threatened to leave him three or four times...All because he did not make love to her enough....She needs it...Sometimes I think either a woman of around this age is either sexually in heat from want or cold as a ice cube...No middle ground...I am not too sure of her middle ground, but it is life and a part of it and she must understand this......

I wrote her back and sent her my love....I told her, you knew this when you married him....I told you this would happen as they just don't improve when they have a mindset as your husband has....Many men don't have an erection because they just plain aren't turned on by their wives...He was, as she is very pretty and sexual, but weight does play a game in this sex game...Unless a man feels good about himself and the way that his sexual rod is reacting and be proud of himself, this can be one great big problem....And this was for him was and is a problem...I told her, honey one thing that you have against you that will be with you if you venture into this place of lust with some other man is that YOU LOVE HIM...You love him to death...Loving him the way that you do, you probably could not find the sexual pleasure you are looking for with another man....I know that I couldn't so I passed on my advice to her....Maybe I was wrong but I did it anyway....

We women need sexual fulfillment...I, as much as each and every one of you want for it....I am finding that I, too, struggle with my husband...He will be 73 the first of the year...I have found that since his operation, he has slowed down...To make matters worse he has picked up about ten pounds...This makes a drastic difference in the sexual response of a man...Especially my husband as he is not on Viagra...Right now we are having full sexual intercourse twice a week but sometimes I do have to work for it .....I will stimulate him with oral sex to bring him to full erection...When he takes me the first thing in the morning, he is a stud....Not a thrill for me to wake up with his hard on but I take anything I can get....I have a feeling until he gets the weight off that this will be more of a problem...But then I forget that he is up every morning at 5:30 with the puppies....Sex is the thing that he needs to stay young.....I will watch him and keep him sexually active....Not only for me, but for him....I know what is good for a man.....Makes him young....

There are more things that I want to say on this but I will leave it until another blog......Still want to do the blog on attaining vaginal orgasms but I just have not had the time...............To my woman friend, I wish you well............A man will get immune to Porn after a while, so don't even try it anymore.........Try having him make love to you with his fingers and tongue and continue to try and do your thing..........Much love, Caroline