The Terrible Pain Of A Love Affair...

The other day I found myself in the heated discussion on love affairs.... Some of these go on during a marriage and some with partners they are living with... This is one of the saddest things to see yet it happens way to often. I have seen seven marriages break up in the last two years. If you want to extend it out a couple more years, we can add the one in my immediate family when I lost my son-in-law. A few weeks ago, I not only lost him on earth, but I lost him to the heavens. I will grieve for him all of the remaining days of my life. These are only the people that I know. In every case the woman was the one looking for the needed love. I am talking about sexual love here. The woman growing into the body that she has had all these years who has now found these sexual yearnings that were dormant. They have been awaken. The woman that we all are inside, but have kept silent and waited and wondered where is this thrill that they write about? This orgasm that is supposed to drive us wild and instead we pant and try to bring it forward with a lover who is no longer a lover, but a companion going through his paces of love. A marriage that is held together by a kiss because the touches have become less and less frequent and soon it is all right. They do not matter and we accept our fate. Or do we? Do we yearn for that never, neverland that we do not know? Our Cinderella inside us that begs for our Prince to come and we smile to ourselves and wonder if all these fairy tales of long ago were just that? Fairy tales of long ago. And we age and accept or some of us get bold and smile at a stranger and our life changes and we have let yesterday go and this stranger makes us feel so young. So we enter into a new part of our life, this mistake in time where we are going, but it feels so good and we are once again alive.....he makes us feel like a woman. He makes the sexual thoughts raise our nipples and wet us between the legs and we both fear this and embrace it. And just sometimes we do not look away....we smile back.........

This was on my mind last night when I tucked my husband in bed. I do this every night as I am a night owl. He was tired as it has been a big day with the puppies. They do not always think that they should be trained. We are finding that swearing at them does not help, but believe me, they can tax you for patience. I kissed him and told me I had a date with him tomorrow afternoon. Told him I wanted some hot sex with the shades open to let the Sun in and I wanted to play with him and suck him and do all the erotic things I love to do. I wanted to be played with and pulled and be as sexual a woman as he had ever seen. I wanted doggie and I wanted to moan with the anticipation of his large tool of love being put inside my opening that would be spread and waiting for him. I wanted to be f****d and f****d well. I never used to talk like this, but this is part of the new me. This new woman that is so madly in love with a man after all these years that sexual heat takes over with words and actions. A woman that if she had been in another marriage and with another man, and had met my lover finding the sexual hunger that we have, that I doubt that I could have resisted and ever given him up. What we are now and what we were three years ago blows my mind. I know it is because I have ejaculated, but we were good then, but this new meeting of our sexual minds and bodies that speak our words of love is just bigger than anything I can talk about. I have matured into another woman. A wildly alive sexual woman. I am all the animal of mankind yet an erotic and sensual woman. I am a woman that I never knew before. A woman capable of sexual love that takes her to a place of not needing forgiveness if she fell in love with another man. Her emotions would be too high and too uncontrollable to govern her good judgement. She would have known sexual thrills that she could not give up for she has discovered what sexual heaven truly is in the arms of a man. And this scares the hell out of me until I realize that I am having an affair with my own husband..

But what about the woman that is caught in this limbo. As she is aging she is getting more sexual. This is not written, but so true. I am seeing this happen. By their late 40's and early 50's they are in deep want. What I have found, they want. We were always good but not like this. I would never have looked at another man because we were so good. I adored him and our sex life was great, but what for the woman who does not have this good life. A marriage that is near sexless and a husband or partner she does not love or if she does love, she has forgotten how it felt. An innocent stranger looking so good. The thrill of that passion between her legs as she wonders what it would be like to have him lick her p***y. Hey, I know what I am talking about. I am not that old. She has again been sexually awakened. These things make that first sexual meeting of two people so easy and comfortable to happen. Even though the first part of the affair is always glorious, will she be able to find her way back home to where she was before? And if she does will she be satisfied? I hurt for these women. They will leave their young children for the sexual pleasure of a man and they can't help themselves. Many of them are finding sexual fulfillment for the first time in their life and this is so sad.

I always remember back to the woman who had the hotel room and was waiting for my husband. This was 15 years ago. He was innocent. She was not. Waiting naked in a room for him to f**k her. This woman was not a tramp. She was a young businesswoman. She wanted him, knew him and hungered for him. She traveled many miles to come to our section of the country to have this affair. I just learned of this a few months ago. I think I knew something was going on, but all the bulbs in my head were not lit. They should have been. He is a sexual and hot man and her sexual cravings were enough to bring her here and plan this and call him at his office thinking he would come to her. I did a blog on my shock after finding this out and I will put this on next. This is the sexual hunger of the female. It will never stop as women need love. Not enough men to go around. Many good looking men are gay. So they marry men they truly do not love or just plain are not compatible with. I have always kept my husband happy. Actually I am darn good. Nope, I will do this again. I am one of the best lovers a woman can be. With what he does to me sexually, I can tell you I am the luckiest woman in the world. I am a hot woman and I have the ability to take all these lustful thoughts of the women who wanted him and turn myself into a French whore. And I love doing this and going through my actions and he just adores it and does not even know where I am. Maybe I am not acting it out. Maybe I am just being me.......

I do not encourage women to have an affair, but how can I fault a woman who needs love. It is one of the saddest things to have to deal with. More than anyone I know this. But saying this, I know the street where she lives.. To have to spend the rest of her life in the abyss and never know the thrill of her sexual parts inside crying out their love to a man.........To never know how wonderful it is to spread your legs to the sky and feel it is right..............To never know the meeting of your mind and sexual part both rejoicing at the same time and know why you were created...........I love all women..........I pray that they all find the love that I have found and find peace.....Take care, Caroline